Leave Me The Fuck Alone.

I’ve put my body and soul into this. I have tried not to cry but I honestly can’t take it anymore. I wish I could tell you this myself but I can’t think while you try to put me down. Just stop already…

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To be honest…

Honestly… Christmas slowly got a little tiring for me. It was great when I was younger with all my childhood friends but as the time went by year after year after year… I don’t have anything in common with these people that I’m actually forced to come to these gatherings otherwise it looks bad when I’m not there unless I have work. What is there to say besides “Hey, how are you?” “Merry Christmas” “Happy birthday”, etc? 

I just feel so out of placed that I find it depressing coming to these things. Especially Christmas. I get my mom is friends with their parents but.. they’re not my friends, they’re just “childhood friends”. The connection died years ago and there’s no way of fixing it. 

I hate trying to clump with people that don’t want or care if I’m there. It’s a waste of time and I feel like I’m a waste of space so why bother? I could care less about the presents the give or the food they bring…

Really I wouldn’t mind just being home, watching some movies or something and being like the other people that don’t celebrate Christmas and do something else that’s open. 

I’m not trying to complain. Yes, I have a family. Yes I actually get presents unlike other people, but I rather be giving it to someone else, instead of letting it just go to waste.

Merry Christmas, right?